Archive for August, 2011

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Hostess with the Mostest

August 30, 2011

Back home after a little Piper reunion and already looking forward to the weekend. For the record, it’s Tuesday.

The weekend was great – kids had a great time playing, adults had a great time visiting, and Deacon had a great time crapping in the basement.

But I am back at work, which means back to my BHG newsletters. This week: getting your home organized for Fall! Now, I know that I have been a little harsh at the folks at BHG, but I realized (thanks to my favorite Minneapolis hostess) that the ideas at BHG are not without merit. A little forethought in organizing a busy home goes a long way; labeling CAN come in handy; and I really want an apron.

As I look through the slideshow, I know now that my poking fun comes from straight jealousy. And hope.

I am jealous of their neat closets and hopeful that if I were to organize my closets in such a way, dressing in the morning would be a breeze. Dressing is sort of a breeze now, if you count the breeze the runs through my hair when I run to the laundry room to iron my pants.

I am jealous of their streamlined kitchens and hopeful that if my kitchen was as carefully planned as theirs, I would cook more. I mean I would cook.

I am not jealous of the meal-planning bit, because that is just nuts.

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Vacation…..

August 27, 2011

Sarah and the girls took a road trip this weekend, headed up north.  That leaves me here, alone, for an entire weekend.  In between trips to the store for meat and beer I have gotten quite a bit done around the houses.  I meant to say houses.  We still have two of them.  The old place is in pretty good shape. Today part of the basement got a new coat of paint, and yesterday Uncle Ben vacuumed the whole place.

It is my understanding that the girls are doing great, having tons of fun and not missing me at all.  I on the other hand sat at the computer to look at some pictures and this one stuck out.  I think I will be doing this in about 2 hours.

When was the last time you took a nap in the front yard?

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Again with Hyper-Organization

August 25, 2011

The concept itself I have no problem with. Sturdy material that hangs on the back of a door and has many clear plastic pockets you can put stuff in. I like having a place for clutter. I don’t see the need for labeling clear plastic pockets with what’s IN the clear plastic pocket. Can’t you SEE what’s in the clear plastic pocket?

A. They’re not cotton BALLS they’re actually squares.

B. Kudos to you for not using the brand name Q-tip and going with the generic cotton swabs. I need a Kleenex. I mean tissue.

C. What if I want to put hand lotion in the body lotion pocket some day?

I wonder if I am just jealous because I don’t have a label maker. Or maybe I’m having my own internal struggle with how I would label things because sometimes there isn’t just one neat little word to describe everything in that clear plastic pocket. Now I’ve gone and gotten all existential on you. How’s this for existential?

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Home………

August 23, 2011

 

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Bubbles a la Wire

August 22, 2011

Every year I walk around my yard barefoot and every year I get attacked by whatever bug likes ankles and feet. I finally bought bug spray this year. But did I use it? Once, I think. Incidentally, when was the last time you went to buy bug spray? I had no idea what I was doing. Should have researched it on Consumer Reports first.

I don’t even remember where I put the bug spray, but it’s certainly not in a convenient place so I will remember to put it on before wandering around my yard. Maybe I should keep it with the beer, because I usually end up wandering around the yard after having a beer, so that would make it easy to remember. Plus, it might actually be refreshing – a little aloe vera cool spritz on the ankles.

Unfortunately I have a lame memory and just now thought of the beer thing, so my ankles and feet are tore up. Like Bubbles from the Wire tore up.

I couldn’t find a picture that sufficiently illustrates what my feet look like right now and I am not going to stoop so low as to take a picture of them to display here. Gross. So you get a non-photoshopped portrait of the Bubs.

Seriously – this bug has got to be some mutant bug because the sucker got me multiple times and I didn’t realize it until it was too late. Any entomologists out there know of such a bug AND the secret cure, please let me know. Would like to go back to wearing skimpy skirts and flip flops.

Much obliged.

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His and Hers………..

August 21, 2011

Happy weekend!  Non-stop action packed.  The weather has been awesome and we have been busy.  G-Bob made an appearance a couple of weeks ago.  Alice and Anna went for their very first bike ride together, and Big-Little-Anna is eating food from a spoon.  I guess that means we need to start looking at colleges.  Time is going so fast.  The following picture are all real, no Photoshop was used to make the kids cuter, or to make any situation look like more fun than it actually was.

We have talked about Alice’s vocabulary before.  Now she is just showing off, although if you look closely, the dictionary is upside down.

We wanted ice cream.  Sarah says we can’t leave Anna home alone just yet, so, into the bike trailer with both of them. Alice laughed the entire way.

Spoon food.  Anna can’t get enough.

What’s that?  Both kids are asleep?  Time for His and Hers G&T’s.  Until next time……….

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The Phrase “No S#%t” Comes to Mind

August 10, 2011

I like things to be neat and orderly as much as the next person (as long as the next person thinks anal-retentive isn’t a bad word), but even I will admit that you can go too far when it comes to organization. So when I found myself staring at a couple of images in this Better Homes and Garden’s slideshow on organizing, I realized I was staring in disbelief – and not in a I-have-to-have-it way.

Take this example. Now, I know that there are lots of busy people out there and there are always things to keep track of in regards to children’s activities, but I just think a life that requires this setup is just wrong.

Do children need an “in” and an “out” box (or plastic envelope)? With two daughters, will our schedules some day require a system that takes up an entire wall in our dining room? Hopefully by then Nick and I will have graduated to a smartphone from the below-averagephones we have now.

Anyway, after the organizing slideshow I started looking at a slideshow about “free printable storage labels.” Not sure why I ventured down this road because we’re too cheap to buy ink for our printer, so I would have to print these labels off at work and I make it a habit to not print personal items at work (except for concert tickets, recipes, house fliers, recipes, and organizing tips). But if a person needs to label the things that BHG decided to label, then there are bigger issues at play here.

Example #1. You need to label a basket full of flip-flops? Isn’t it obvious what’s in the basket?  I want to live where a person typically owns that many flip-flops.

 

Example #2. Thank GOD you labeled this clear jar full of jelly beans. I had no idea what I was getting myself into!

Same comment goes for this one.

Example #3. Is it baby “items” or baby “stuff”? WHICH IS IT??? How do I decide?

Finally, we come to the ultimate in “do people really do that?”

I believe people who can plan their meals a week at a time have genius IQ. I go to the store and firmly believe I succeeded in buying food for several meals. Technically I did succeed – if those meals consist of tortillas, yogurt, and Honey Nut Cheerios. I think I have actually picked up ingredients for Chicken Tikka Masala and forgotten the chicken. How do they do it, these weekly meal planners?

I have so many questions about how a life like this must be like.

“Mom, the board says we’re having fruit salad with the omelets – can we have yogurt instead?”

“Potato soup and chef salad again?”

“I want cheese pizza, but the board has pizza under Meat. What gives?”

And whoever heard about having peaches with chicken pot pie? That’s just weird.