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Linen Closet………

March 2, 2011

Total meltdown in public today.  Really the first of its kind.  Busy lunch rush at a neighborhood pizza place, just me and Alice.  Big mistake.  She looks so sweet, cute, loveable.

There she is, time to vent.  So what had happened was; it all started with a failed attempt to go poopie in the potty.  Bathroom = cesspool, not to mention Alice’s shirt had long stringy tassly things that hang from the bottom.  Attempt #1, two out of four tassly things soaked in toilet water.  Back to the table, no pizza in sight.  Attempt #2, there is now a nasty puddle in front of the toilet, so we are “side saddling” the toilet, no poopie, one shoe is off and behind nasty toilet.  Back to table, no pizza in sight.  The screaming is getting totally out of control, Alice is covered in bathroom liquid, I am covered in bathroom liquid, no pizza in sight.  If you don’t know what a 2 year old’s screaming in public feels like, well, it is like having Lemmy sitting on your brain trying to kick your eyeballs out from the inside.

At this point I need to get her out of the dining room.  Attempt #3 shoes stay on, tassels stay out of toilet, but there is a struggle in front of the throne, the puddle gets disturbed, I end up with a strangers “short hair” on my forearm.  OH MY GOD!  Blood pressure on the rise just typing about it.  Next is Alice on the sink, soap everywhere, screaming.  Back to the table.

From the kitchen comes an employee with our pizza, Alice looks up at him and says, very politely, with a huge smile, “pizza make me feel better”.  I know, I can’t possibly cram Lemmy, short hairs, a two-year old and multiple bottles of whisky/ey into one post.  Wrong.

Third shelf of my linen closet; I’ll be seeing you as soon as the wife gets home.

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